Your tribe in five circles
As I shared in my article, It's About Time, we often talk about work-life balance as if they are two different things we can make equal. I propose there is no separation; they are both life, and you do not balance life with life; you steward it by allocating time, money, and energy. We do not manage time as if it could be managed; we prioritize interactions and events within the time available.
When we feel stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, it is often a misallocation of time, money, and energy, and we begin to realize the need for boundaries, borders, and sometimes even the exile of people, places, and things from our circles. Rather than let this run on autopilot, unchecked and unaddressed to our detriment, we can begin to consciously choose and accept rather than allow and tolerate. We curate who, where, and what is for us and who we can be for. This practice I call tribal consciousness, and it begins with a view of the five circles of your tribe.
This is my point of view after over a decade of deep inquiry specifically on the subject. It is not meant to be read as a complete and final answer but rather as a living practice evolving for the highest and best. Still, I did not arrive at my current conclusions without careful consideration. You can be the judge as you lay it over your life and begin to see how it might apply.
The five circles
5th Circle: PING. This circle's theme is discovery and assessment. This is where people, places, and things enter your tribe as interactions become more frequent and continual.
4th Circle: INTENTION. This circle's theme is nurture with follow-up and follow-through. Having recognized in the 5th circle that you can be for them and they can be for you, you choose to be more intentional about nurturing them. They may or may not choose you, but at this point you are choosing them.
3rd Circle: CONNECTION. This circle's theme is know the score. Who, outside of your relationships, actually listens to what you say and acts on it? That is the score. If you choose accurately in the 4th circle and nurture intentionally and impactfully, you likely build influence with that person, and influence is how everything gets done, from romance, to friendship, to scaling a mega corporation.
Influence: People listen to what you say and act on what you say if it is accurate for them or they perceive it is accurate for them.
Significant Influence: People tell others what you say and inspire others to act on what you say if it is accurate for them or they perceive it is accurate for them.
2nd Circle: RELATIONSHIP. This circle's theme is reciprocity. Too many of us call too many interactions relationships, but they lack reciprocity, and this is where our time, money, and energy leak, and our stress, anxiety, and overwhelm grow. This is a sacred and protected circle. We do not need to expect perfection or exact equal exchange, but we should not tolerate toxic chronic taking. We must develop the courage to distance those from this circle who do not reciprocate.
1st Circle: INNER CIRCLE. This circle's theme is mastermind. Jim Rohn said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." I tend to believe this is somewhat accurate. Your real mastermind is not an outside group you belong to and visit once a month; that is a think tank, and temporary. The people you spend the most time with construct your true mastermind, negative or positive, and the impacts are inevitable.
This is a brief introduction to the Five Circles framework; the full session, with video, is The five circles of influence, impact, and intimacy. Stay tuned for a deeper dive into each circle, and how the borders and boundaries can protect your resources and put you in the flow, so you live your best life now and achieve what is for you, while simultaneously making your greatest contribution to people, places, and things.
Tribe Well!