It's about time. Maybe you are a parent juggling work, romance, children, family, friends, and community commitments, and you just can't seem to catch a breath. Maybe you are surrounded by people and still somehow feel alone. Or maybe you have the people, but you can't seem to get into the flow of living your best life and achieving what is for you. Either way, it is all about how you allocate time to people, places, and things, and who you are in those interactions.
You only have so much precious time in this life, and consciously or unconsciously you are keeping a clock. In your 30s, you are well into the first half. In your 40s, it feels like halftime. In your 50s and 60s, you are in the third quarter, and in your 70s, the fourth. No matter where you are, time is reminding you of where you have come from and where you have yet to go. It is criticizing and coaching simultaneously. Too much time there and too little time here, it says.
As I have pondered what it truly means to live my best life and achieve what is for me, while simultaneously making my greatest contribution to people, places, and things, I have concluded it comes down to two main factors, with many others downstream of those two, and both are about the wise stewardship of time:
- The tribe I consciously choose and accept vs. the one I unconsciously allow and tolerate. People talk about setting boundaries but have no idea where they can actually exist, or how. They exist right here, between what I choose and accept and what I allow and tolerate, and they live within the five circles of my tribe. Once I know the circles, I realize exile is not the only type of boundary. A boundary can simply be a more appropriate circle.
- Leadership: my owned way of being. Who and how I am. Accountable and responsible for me. Unapologetically myself, not to carelessly offend others, but to no longer carelessly offend myself.
When we struggle to juggle and manage priorities because we can't juggle and manage time, it is likely because we lack the language, infrastructure, and distinctions to know who, where, and what is truly for us, and who we can truly be for. Then we can be all in and go all out with the right people, places, and things, rather than continually running the fool's errand of investing in the wrong ones.
What some call work-life balance, I tend to see as one life, and you do not balance life with life. Instead, we prioritize moments of work, play, family, friends, romance, self-care, and care for others, and this helps us align with living our best life now and achieving our highest aims. In a way, all things become balanced because they are consciously stewarded and chosen.
"We tend to invest too much too soon in too many for too little return."
No amount of time, money, or energy can convert the wrong person, place, or thing into the right one, and that is where the leak comes from. A misallocation to things of low impact or, even worse, negative impact. We can't make more time for what is truly important and high impact; we can only steward it by choosing the right priorities in the right places.
The Tribe Conversation is about the language, infrastructure, and distinctions of your tribe, so that you may practice conscious choosing and accepting of the right people, places, and things while building the courage to un-choose the wrong ones.
It's about time.