USED AND USEFUL vs ABUSED AND USED UP

Article 5 of the Tribe Conversation

I had coffee with a friend the other day and she was needing some support. She made the comment, “but I don’t want to use you”. You probably are not going to like my response to her, and you will most likely be challenged by the ideas presented in this article. Stay with me, you can always go back to the matrix when we are done.

“We are all using each other, as we should be.”

I want to be used and useful, not abused and used up, and so do you. This is what it means to be social. This is what it means to be valuable. This is what it means to be in a relation-ship together. I am getting something from you, and you are getting something from me, or we move on. If this is not the case, we are terrible stewards of time, money, and energy and far from living a life by design.

I am a bit shocked at why we have such a hard time with this. Would you rather be useless? It is my absolute goal to be used and useful. You are not wrong in wanting to use me. If no one wants to use me, what purpose do I have here?

What I do not want is to be abused and used up. To be completely taken advantage of with no return on investment. I am not suggesting keeping score on every instance, but over time, if I keep giving and you keep taking and don’t give back, that is abuse and I will be used up. In unhealthy relations, because this is not a relationship, one or both people are abusing the other until they are used up.

In healthy relationships, we are reciprocal and bring value to each other. I give and am useful to you and you give and are useful to me. This is what keeps us in the relation-ship together. We best get solid with this as it is our true calling to be used and useful, or why are we here? If you don’t want to use me, I become useless.

This was my answer to her and now we are clear.

To continue with the tribe conversation, go to Article 6.

Tribe Well,

Brett Labit